When I stare at the color-coded notes about tangents on the page, I’m consumed by yawns. The weight of my stress and worry overwhelms me until I am filled with a sense of awe. I’m in awe of how much my body can handle, but I know that it needs an evening of relaxation and organizing. Everything about today was busy and my mind needs a night off.

Pride washes over me as  I look at the black ink on my midterm exam. I smile to myself and pack it away. The gloating can wait and certainly doesn’t need to happen in front of a highly competitive group of people. 

As I walk down the three flights of stairs, joy fills me as I am able to examine my surroundings and feel comfortable. The Red Cedar has never seemed so comforting as it does now.  

I have learned so much over the last semester and a half, but most of my learning has taken place outside of room A122 and A330. I know to look twice for speeding bikers and mopeds on the sidewalk. I know that you do not wait for traffic to stop before you start crossing the street. But most importantly, saying “hello” or “good morning” to anyone on the custodial staff makes everyone’s day better.  

I walk through the hallway that holds so many memories. The purple walls have painted many times, but the building is still the place where I had so many firsts and that I continue to come back to. I continue to grow, as a student and as a young Catholic each time I enter this Preschool-turned-Youth Room.

I take a deep breath in, and breath out. I keep walking  until I find the exact people who I want. They have been with me through everything, whether I knew it or not. I am so grateful for the laughter, love, and joy these teenagers have brought into my life.

There isn’t anything that cheesy breadsticks and barbeque pizza cannot fix.

When combined with low restaurant lighting, the people you love, and amazing spins on well-aged fairytales, the bad moments that filter into our days don’t stand a chance at tainting the joy and love that pours out of the booth.

Shoulders are the most flexible system in our bodies. They are also the most complex and take up the most space in the human body. 

They rotate and can move to astounding positions. 

They move and adapt depending on what our brain demands. 

                 I could learn a thing or two from shoulders. 

                Adapting when updated on a situation. 

                Helping others, without conditions. 

                Standing up to weight and responsibilities.

I feel the gas mask go over my nose, and as I let out a breathy laugh, my eyes close. The last thing I remember is the blinking light in the operating room. 

When I later wake up, all I want to do is go back to sleep. Anesthesia makes for good naps, but also makes it really hard to wake up. My throat tingles and I announce my prescence with a loud cough. 

Minutes later, I happily suck on a lemon popsicle. It soothes my aching throat from the breathing tube, but I can breathe!! My newly cleared sinuses are rejoicing and throwing their own party inside my head and I quickly join them. 

My back feels heavy as I carry the mountain of binders and textbooks out of school.

I run through my assigned homework and makeup work to guarantee I have what I need. I start to prepare for the upcoming day and all that it will bring, and find myself wondering how I am going to feel and how much this surgery will change my life.

I don’t know how my voice is going to change. Or my sense of smell. Or my taste buds.

I don’t even know if this surgery will clear my sinuses, regardless of how many times the surgeons and nurses assure me that I am taking the right path on this difficult road to recovery.

But I do know that things are changing.

Changes that will bring a world where I can breathe a little easier (literally speaking).

What is beauty??

I’ve found myself tossing this question around a lot recently. The media tells us one thing, and the influence of the media is no help.

But beauty is power.

Beauty is strength.

It is knowing when to stand up, and that you should NEVER sit down.

It is knowing that you matter and are worthy, no matter how much the image in the mirror disagrees.

Beauty is knowing that your time is valuable.

Beauty is knowing that you are worthy of all the love you can receive.

Beauty is in everything.

Every person, every flaw, every single object.

Life is beautiful–and so are you.

As I let out a final exhale, a sense of peace washes over my body. Thirty minutes have passed that were filled with blissful yoga. My breathing was fast and my body was stretched out the max, but I have never felt better.

In moments like these, I am completely in awe of what my body can do. With each practice, my body changes and adapts to what is played on the video.